1:00:00

S11 May 13, 2025

Bonus Rewind: SALTY DOG ONIONS

SALTY DOG ONIONS are remarkable for their life-enhancing qualities, and have been used to butter souls from ancient Mesopotamia, across medieval marshlands, and even through today’s difficult times. Sit back and surrender to the splendiferous music and originatively homegrown storytelling, that is Bill’s Big Bag of Onions… Original 100-word stories to enthral and delight. With Adrian Coen & Yvonne Pini

1:00:00

S11 May 6, 2025

Bonus Rewind: LOST ON THE MӦBIUS STRIP

MӦBIUS STRIP ONIONS – always indefinable and forever indescribable. Original 100-word stories to enthral and delight With Adrian Coen & Yvonne Pini.

1:00:00

S11 Apr 29, 2025

Onions does Musicologies, Big Bag #01

Thematic streams of thought and music, from the interludes found on the UK radio show ‘Box 39’. This weeks topics include: alternative Christmas presents, April Fools’ Day, and ’normal service will be resumed short with Adrian Coen and Bill Lawrance

1:00:00

S11:E14 Apr 22, 2025

Beauty and the Beast Onions

A merchant setting out on a journey to restore his fortune offers to bring gifts for his daughters. While the elder daughters make extravagant requests, the youngest, Beauty, asks only for a rose. Don’t expect this though. We have far better ideas… with Adrian Coen & Yvonne Pini

1:00:00

S11:E13 Apr 15, 2025

International Guide to Prominent Veteran Onionistas, Part 4

This week, Guppy Productions, in cooperation with The Deep State and the Wivenhoe Anti-Boring Society, presents Colne Radio’s International Guide to Prominent Veteran Onionistas, Part 4. with Adrian Coen & Yvonne Pini

1:00:00

S11:E12 Apr 15, 2025

International Guide to Prominent Veteran Onionistas, Part 3

This week, Guppy Productions, in cooperation with the United Nations and the Wivenhoe Festival of Mindfulness, presents Colne Radio’s International Guide to Prominent Veteran Onionistas, Part 3. with Adrian Coen & Yvonne Pini

1:00:00

S11:E11 Apr 8, 2025

International Guide to Prominent Veteran Onionistas, Part 2

This week, Guppy Productions, in cooperation with the United Nations and the European Court of Human Rights, presents Colne Radio’s International Guide to Prominent Veteran Onionistas, Part 2. with Adrian Coen & Yvonne Pini

1:00:00

S11:E10 Apr 7, 2025

International Guide to Prominent Veteran Onionistas, Part 1

This week, Guppy Productions, in cooperation with the institutions of the New World Order at the highest level presents Colne Radio’s International Guide to Prominent Veteran Onionistas, Part 1. with Adrian Coen & Yvonne Pini

1:03:57

S11:E09 Apr 6, 2025

LOVELY ONIONS

This week, all our Onions are truly lovely. And so is the music. Written by the lovely Jake Becker, Angela Cairns, Jenny Miller, Tim Morgan, Pat Blosse, Clare Kemsley, Phil Boast, Harry Voge, Angela Cairns, Ian Hornett , Sophie Drewnogal , Sara Nice, John Dew, Adrian Coen. Bill Lawrance, Daryl Lotterby and Mary-Jane Ng. With the lovely Yvonne Pini and Adrian Coen.

1:00:00

S11:E08 Apr 5, 2025

ONIONS IN THE CITY

This week, Bill brings a bag of boiled Onions to the big city (i.e. bigger than Colchester) to see what all the fuss is about. The ever-growing work-from-home pen-pushing Onion bureaucracy that made this journey possible includes Jo Kerr, Pat Bloss, Kara Black, Ian Hornett, Ruth Hamilton, Sebastian Tombs, Brenda Bonzer, Bill Lawrance, Sue Beer, Tim Morgan, Plum South, John Dew, Susan Low, and Phil Boast. With Yvonne Pini and Adrian Coen.

1:00:00

S11:E07 Apr 4, 2025

FIRST ONIONS ON MARS

Colne Radio has beaten Elon Musk to it! Senior Presenter and Chief Big Baggist, Bill Lawrance, has succeeded in land a large sack of Onions on the planet Mars. Watching all this from Guppy Productions Space Centre in Wivenhoe were Phil Boast, Ruth Hamilton, Sue Beer, Jenny Miller, Pat Blosse, Felicity Fig, Barbara Toucan, Sebastian Tombs, John Dew, Bill Lawrance, Jo Kerr, Clare Kemsley, Angela Cairns, and Melissa Porter. With Yvonne Pini and Adrian Coen.

1:00:00

S11:E06 Apr 3, 2025

FELICITY FIG ONIONS

This week’s show is given over in its entirety to an anthology of delicious Onions cultivated by the enigmatic Felicity Fig for which she was paid at a bulk rate and not per Onion so that Bill could pocket his usual weekly bung in full. With Yvonne Pini and Adrian Coen.

1:00:00

S11:E05 Apr 2, 2025

ONIONS OUT OF BALANCE

There’s certainly one thing that everyone can agree about the seminal 1982 film “Koyaanisqatsi” - a Native American word meaning ‘life out of balance’ - featuring only stunning visual images and mesmerizing motion picture sequences: no words, no characters, and no narrative…we can all agree that there could NEVER EVER be a radio version of the film. Except, there now is. This show features the music of Phillip Glass and Onions Out Of Balance written by Clare Kemsley, Ruth Hamilton, Sue Beer, Jo Kerr, Angela Cairns, Jenny Miller, Phil Boast, Bill Lawrance, Pat Blosse, Ian Hornett, Tim Morgan and John Dew. With Yvonne Pini and Adrian Coen

1:00:00

S11:E04 Apr 1, 2025

AESOP’S ONIONS

Aesop loved, and knew, his onions, writing over a thousand fables about the Allium Cepa, as well as running the first burger bar in the whole of ancient Athens that served fried onion rings. In celebration of the ancient storyteller, who also made theworld’s first Onion based anti-perspirant, here are a whole bunch of Onions in one of Bills Big Bags, with each linked mysteriously, yet appositely, to the old Greek Fabulist himself. With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

1:00:00

S11:E03 Mar 31, 2025

TRIPPY ONIONS

Featuring 100-word scarcely-a-story offerings written by: Sarah Freely, Pamela Ennis, Amy L. Bethke, Jo Coldwell, B.A. Williams, Iqbal, Zavinia Orlossky, Jake Becker, Marianne Rossant, Giorgio Adalopoulos, Santian Vataj, John Davis, Kathy Fish, Jeelan, JSP Jacobs, Carol Ennis, Harry Voge, Steve Gow, Nil Yeshil, Yvonne Pini, and Michael Micky-Lidis. With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

1:00:00

S11:E02 Mar 30, 2025

ENOUGH ONIONS?

In this show, our Onionistas seemed to be unsure of whether the theme was ‘Isn’t This World Enough?’ …or… ‘Aren’t These Onions Enough?’ Either way, the answers are.“yes” and “no”, respectively, although this may not be made clear by the content of the show. Featuring 100-word scarcely-a-story offerings written by: Sue Beer, Susan Low, Clare Kemsley, Jenny Miller, Angela Cairns, Jo Kerr, Daphne Button, Lis Edwards, Paul Hooper, Pat Blosse, Tim Morgan, Ian Hornett, Adrian Coen, John Dew, Phil Boast,Minnie Ardo, and Jim Crimm. With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

1:00:00

S11:E01 Mar 29, 2025

AGEING ONIONS

In this show, our intrepid a-hundred-word’s-all-you’re-getting Onionistas try cogitating such things as the bleak prospects of a decrepit highwayman, besieging Troy in your 70s (metaphorically, of course) and the indignity of hair sprouting from all orifices. Featuring teeny-weeny micro-fictions written by Clare Kemsley, Sue Beer, Phil Boast, John Dew, Pat Blosse, Rob Lewis, Paul Hooper, Toni Peers, Susan Low, Lily Matthews, Eli Rose, Kara Black, Verity James. Jim Crimm, and Tim Morgan. With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini